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Welcome to Portlandistan

Welcome to Portlandistan

Where the Gorge Winds Howl and the Tweakers Roam

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  • Tales of Portlandistan
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    • Lewis & Clark
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Featured Posts

The New Math Meth

The New Math Meth

June 13, 2023
I Make Good Fucking Fences

I Make Good Fucking Fences

May 30, 2023
Is that a Ferro Rod in Your Pocket or Are You Just a Sucker for Marketing?

Is that a Ferro Rod in Your Pocket or Are You Just a Sucker for Marketing?

February 13, 2023
The Fuckless Zip

The Fuckless Zip

January 14, 2023
A HILL OF BEANS POTATOES

A HILL OF BEANS POTATOES

January 7, 2023
The Joy of Radio in the Woods

The Joy of Radio in the Woods

December 11, 2022
Bertha Hits the Numbers
6 min read
  • Ducks
  • Living

Bertha Hits the Numbers

May 4, 2024
Bertha’s personality is everything you’d expect in the name...
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The Mystery of Hourglass Chalk
2 min read
  • Billiards
  • Tales of Portlandistan

The Mystery of Hourglass Chalk

December 28, 2023
The Hourglass Pub at Glisan & 74th makes the...
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Garden Update: Winter Spinach Harvest
1 min read
  • Gardening

Garden Update: Winter Spinach Harvest

December 21, 2023
Latest supplemental lighting spinach harvest = 12 oz.  ...
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Garden Update: Greenhouse Peppers Still Producing
1 min read
  • Gardening

Garden Update: Greenhouse Peppers Still Producing

November 24, 2023
Despite being abandoned by me, beset by aphids and...
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Rocky Butte’s History of Turkey Shoots
1 min read
  • Tales of Portlandistan

Rocky Butte’s History of Turkey Shoots

November 14, 2023
Up through the late 1960’s, turkey shoots were common...
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Garden Update: Kiwi Harvest
1 min read
  • Gardening

Garden Update: Kiwi Harvest

October 31, 2023
Kiwi Harvest – 30 lbs.   
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Garden Update: Supplemental Outdoor LED’s
1 min read
  • Gardening

Garden Update: Supplemental Outdoor LED’s

October 23, 2023
It may be dark and rainy outside with all...
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Garden Update: Fall Spinach Harvest
1 min read
  • Gardening

Garden Update: Fall Spinach Harvest

October 13, 2023
First Fall spinach harvest, 0.75 lbs.   Matador (Spinacia...
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Garden Update: Kiwis!
1 min read
  • Gardening

Garden Update: Kiwis!

October 12, 2023
I can’t believe these kiwis, they’re approaching apple size!...
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Garden Update: Planting Garlic
1 min read
  • Gardening

Garden Update: Planting Garlic

October 12, 2023
Making new garlic is like making new humans. Keep...
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Garden Update: Amaranth Time
1 min read
  • Gardening

Garden Update: Amaranth Time

October 7, 2023
Amaranth processing time. Besides zero effort to grow, and...
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Garden Update: Summer Winding Down in the Greenhouse
1 min read
  • Gardening

Garden Update: Summer Winding Down in the Greenhouse

September 21, 2023
Summer winding down in the greenhouse.     The...
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Garden Update: Bean Time!
2 min read
  • Food
  • Gardening

Garden Update: Bean Time!

September 20, 2023
Bean time. I’ve learned to pull them off the...
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How to Learn Morse Code in 1910
1 min read
  • Camping & Fishing

How to Learn Morse Code in 1910

September 18, 2023
On page 57 of the original 1910 Boy Scouts...
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Johnny Chalkyseed Revealed
1 min read
  • Billiards

Johnny Chalkyseed Revealed

September 16, 2023
For a few years now, I’ve played the role...
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Crawfish Stock
1 min read
  • Food

Crawfish Stock

September 5, 2023
Cooking down crawfish stock for 5 hours. The whole...
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Garden Update: Hermaphroditic Corn
1 min read
  • Gardening

Garden Update: Hermaphroditic Corn

September 2, 2023
I have hermaphroditic corn this year. The male tassels...
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Garden Update: First Cucumber Harvest
1 min read
  • Gardening

Garden Update: First Cucumber Harvest

July 20, 2023
First one picked. Cucumber season has begun in the...
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Garden Update: Garlic Harvest
1 min read
  • Gardening

Garden Update: Garlic Harvest

July 17, 2023
The only thing more fun that harvesting garlic is...
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Lewis & Clark: The First Fourth of July in the West
2 min read
  • Lewis & Clark

Lewis & Clark: The First Fourth of July in the West

July 4, 2023
On July 4, 1804, Lewis and Clark and the...
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The New Math Meth
10 min read
  • Featured Post
  • Tales of Portlandistan

The New Math Meth

June 13, 2023
No doubt a good 98-99% of the general population...
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Adventure in the Palm of Your Hand
2 min read
  • Camping & Fishing

Adventure in the Palm of Your Hand

June 10, 2023
I’ve gone camping with various friends over the years,...
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I Make Good Fucking Fences
3 min read
  • Featured Post
  • Tales of Portlandistan

I Make Good Fucking Fences

May 30, 2023
Compliments come in many forms, and here’s one of...
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The Lion’s Brown Eye
7 min read
  • Tales of Portlandistan

The Lion’s Brown Eye

March 1, 2023
There's a homey feel to a dive bar on...
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TUNES:
Alpenzusjes – “Wienie Wienie” (2014)
  • Tunes

TUNES:
Alpenzusjes – “Wienie Wienie” (2014)

February 25, 2023
 
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The Squirrels Are Magic!
1 min read
  • Gardening

The Squirrels Are Magic!

February 23, 2023
Remember a couple months ago when I wrote that...
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Is that a Ferro Rod in Your Pocket or Are You Just a Sucker for Marketing?
8 min read
  • Camping & Fishing
  • Featured Post

Is that a Ferro Rod in Your Pocket or Are You Just a Sucker for Marketing?

February 13, 2023
Ferrocerium rods are amazing tools. They’re also hyped...
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TUNES:
H-Bomb Ferguson – “Bookie’s Blues” (1952)
  • Tunes

TUNES:
H-Bomb Ferguson – “Bookie’s Blues” (1952)

February 11, 2023
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The Fuckless Zip
6 min read
  • Camping & Fishing
  • DIY
  • Featured Post

The Fuckless Zip

January 14, 2023
Entering the murky, mercenary and occasionally as-seen-on-TV world of...
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TUNES:
Todd Snider – “Just Like Old Times” (2007)
  • Tunes

TUNES:
Todd Snider – “Just Like Old Times” (2007)

January 10, 2023
 
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A HILL OF BEANS POTATOES
8 min read
  • Featured Post
  • Food
  • Gardening

A HILL OF BEANS POTATOES

January 7, 2023
In which we reveal the results of 2022's Annual...
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TUNES:
Leonard Cohen – “Did I Ever Love You” (2014)
  • Tunes

TUNES:
Leonard Cohen – “Did I Ever Love You” (2014)

January 1, 2023
 
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Squirrels Vindicated!
1 min read
  • Gardening

Squirrels Vindicated!

December 22, 2022
Extra bushy, spazzy squirrels killing it in the meteorlogical...
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TUNES:
Tasche & the Psychedelic Roses – “Blue Window” (2018)
  • Tunes

TUNES:
Tasche & the Psychedelic Roses – “Blue Window” (2018)

December 14, 2022
  ·  
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The Joy of Radio in the Woods
11 min read
  • Camping & Fishing
  • Featured Post
  • Living

The Joy of Radio in the Woods

December 11, 2022
Why a tiny shortwave radio should be your new...
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First Snowfall of Winter! Did the Squirrels Call It?
1 min read
  • Camping & Fishing
  • Gardening

First Snowfall of Winter! Did the Squirrels Call It?

December 4, 2022
SNOW!!!! On December 4th in Portland!!! About 2”...
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Growing Kiwis in Portland is an Exercise in Patience and Trust
2 min read
  • Gardening

Growing Kiwis in Portland is an Exercise in Patience and Trust

December 1, 2022
After seven years - my first harvest of Portland...
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Exterior Wintertime Supplemental LED Lights
5 min read
  • Gardening

Exterior Wintertime Supplemental LED Lights

November 6, 2022
Can we beat the dim of winter with four...
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TUNES:
Tex Ritter – “High Noon” (1952)
  • Tunes

TUNES:
Tex Ritter – “High Noon” (1952)

November 4, 2022
 
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Squirrel Prognostication
3 min read
  • Gardening

Squirrel Prognostication

October 2, 2022
I hate making predictions. So I'll just defer...
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The Potatoes Update
1 min read
  • Gardening

The Potatoes Update

June 22, 2022
  Potatoes of Love Update –  Their weight has...
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Ducks: An Integral Part of Language and Culture
3 min read
  • Ducks

Ducks: An Integral Part of Language and Culture

March 27, 2022
You may never have recognized what an impact ducks...
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Defrosting Frog Legs Could be in the Background of a Bosch Painting
  • Food
  • Living

Defrosting Frog Legs Could be in the Background of a Bosch Painting

March 26, 2022
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TUNES:
Aurora Nealand & the Royal Roses – “T’Ain’t Nobody’s Business” (2014)
  • Tunes

TUNES:
Aurora Nealand & the Royal Roses – “T’Ain’t Nobody’s Business” (2014)

March 4, 2022
 
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Potatoes of Love
2 min read
  • Gardening

Potatoes of Love

February 14, 2022
Check out these potatoes I pulled out of basement...
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The Orange Revolution
2 min read
  • Tales of Portlandistan

The Orange Revolution

February 12, 2022
  I go to Home Depot at least twice...
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Ten Fingers Go into a Bar… Nine Come Out.
10 min read
  • Tales of Portlandistan

Ten Fingers Go into a Bar… Nine Come Out.

January 15, 2020
Ever been in the room with a digital amputation?...
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INTRO: DUCKS
4 min read
  • Ducks

INTRO: DUCKS

January 1, 2000
Start here to learn about my duck obsession.
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“I’ve never considered anything past 82nd as Portland.”

— Chloe Eudaly, Portland City Commissioner

Tags

bars (3) camping gear (4) Cooking (1) covid (1) ducks (2) ferro rod (1) Gardening (2) gardening myths (1) glass house tavern (1) homesteading (1) lion's eye tavern (1) Magats (1) Magic Inn (1) meth (1) Mr. Peeps (1) music (7) portlandistan (3) Potatoes (3) snow (1) squirrels (2) tunes (7)
Author: Max Kaxhelry
Author: Max Kaxhelry welcometoportlandistan@gmail.com

INTRO: DUCKS

Start here to learn about my duck obsession.

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